I talked to a friend whose mother moved into a nursing home last July. Jen confirmed what I’d heard about adjustment: that it’s incremental and can take several months. The going was rough for awhile–her mother needs care primarily due to physical problems but the physical and emotional stress of failing health and a new… Continue reading On our way / March 13, 2007
I’m taking a bit of a hiatus from blogging here for a couple of reasons. The main reason is that I’m trying to hit my stride, now that I’ve got work, my home and my mother’s new home on my map. My mother is doing well–she’s still asking to go home, but not as desperately… Continue reading Hiatus / February 24, 2007
I haven’t been wanting to write much lately. I’m feeling tired and uninspired, just trying to deal with the ups and downs of this spell. A routine is starting to take shape: I visit my mother on Tuesdays and Thursdays right after work. I leave the library at 3:30 and get to Garden Manor by… Continue reading Pictures / February 6, 2007
Today is colorless and cold, one of those bland, blank winter days. After weeks of unnaturally mild weather we were snapped in two yesterday when the temperature dropped to the single digits. I left for work yesterday morning in 7 degree Fahrenheit air. My car sounded like it was about to fall apart when I… Continue reading Letting go / January 27, 2007
My mother in into her third week at Garden Manor, and I can see that she’s settling in. She has a couple of friends she often sits with and she’s gone on a couple of outings. Last week she had her hair cut and permed. Visiting remains difficult, for both of us, I think. When… Continue reading In transit / January 14, 2007
It’s been a rough couple of weeks. Anticipating and planning for the move to assisted living, making the move, and now adjusting to it–each stage has exacted its emotional toll. I began visiting my mother six days after she moved in, and if I had it to do over again, I would visit her earlier.… Continue reading Making the change / January 7, 2006
This is the first entry I’ve written from my own home. Last night was the first time in two years that I’ve slept in my own bed. I’m having a decidedly mixed reaction to the present. My mother moved into her assisted living unit on Thursday, an experience that lived up to all expectations. I… Continue reading Assisted living, part 5 / December 30, 2006
My mother went to bed early tonight (about 7:30) but I can hear her up again, wandering into the kitchen, the living room. Today I told her that I’d arranged for her to move to assisted living, and I imagine that she’s unable to sleep because of that. She responded in no uncertain terms that… Continue reading Assisted living, part 4 / December 26, 2006
Two days ago my cousin telephoned, and my mother answered. I listened to her side of their conversation and thought, “Have I been dreaming? Is she really sick?” She handed the phone to me at one point. “She sounds great,” my cousin said to me. Is this the woman I visited in the nursing home… Continue reading Heart and/or mind / December 10, 2006
I received a letter from the VA today, informing me that my mother had been denied the Dependency and Indemnity Compensation (DIC), as I suspected she would be. I should explain that the application I submitted actually served two purposes: one, to apply for DIC, which is awarded based on service-related medical conditions; and, two,… Continue reading Aid & Attendance, part 4 / December 9, 2006
