I wonder how long my mother will be this angry at me. When I arrived today she began immediately: I have no money, This is awful, Why are you doing this to me? I tried to remember not to argue, not to reason–which is so much harder than I imagined. I’d arrived shortly before the time that… Continue reading Again / October 28, 2006
It’s Sunday morning and I’m still staying at my mother’s house. I’m trying to think of moving some of my belongings back to my house but I can’t until I know whether my mother will be able to move directly into AL from the nursing home. Part of this is just my natural caution and… Continue reading Waiting / October 22, 2006
My mother was transferred to the nursing home for rehab on Saturday. She was remarkably “with it” once we arrived. My sister and I were amazed. Of course there were spells of confused talk, but we stayed with her all afternoon, and then I returned for a couple of hours in the evening. I sat… Continue reading Transition, part 3 / October 15, 2006
My mother remains hospitalized, and we now know that she has a pulmonary embolism, no doubt the result of Deep Vein Thrombosis. Another reason to keep the legs moving. The good news is that she is doing quite well–she is alert and her skin has color. She’ll probably be in for another couple of days,… Continue reading Transition, part 2 / October 12, 2006
“I have no idea what the day will bring.” That’s how I ended my last post, and the following day, unfortunately, did prove to be memorable. Seven hours in the emergency room with my mother, who had collapsed at 5 that morning. I couldn’t even sit her up, she was so weak, and I had… Continue reading Transition, part 1 / October 10, 2006
Next Tuesday a nurse from the assisted living home will evaluate my mother here at the house. I spoke to her on the phone today to set the time. She then asked me what my mother knows about the arrangements. Nothing. We have brought it up as a possibility with her, but I have still… Continue reading Assisted living, part 2 / September 13, 2006
I returned to work today, after two whole days of being unable to control my tears. Although I dreaded the day I’d have to say good-bye to my beautiful boy, I was still unprepared for the torrent of grief that followed. I am extremely fortunate to work with many animal lovers–people who actually cried with… Continue reading Being sad alone / August 17, 2006
I lost one of the joys of my life today: my collie Dustin. I’m still overcome with grief, even though I had been trying to prepare myself for this day. Oddly, I felt relieved to release him from his suffering, which had been short. His breathing has worsened overnight and by morning he was intubated.… Continue reading Grief / August 14, 2006
This is a story of how dementia and family dynamics can be kneaded together to create something that will rise on its own. It’s an example of how one situation and its ripple effect stoke the stress that often underlies the mindset and the judgment of the caregiver, and which then reaches the Alzheimer sufferer… Continue reading Dia de los Muertos / June 17, 2006
My mother often forgets that my father died. She doesn’t claim to see or hear him, but she sometimes wonders when he’ll be getting home. My sister says that she often refers to me as “Dad.” I mentioned this to our case manager and wondered how I should respond–should I correct her or play along?… Continue reading Dad’s ghost / March 24, 2006
