“I have no idea what the day will bring.” That’s how I ended my last post, and the following day, unfortunately, did prove to be memorable. Seven hours in the emergency room with my mother, who had collapsed at 5 that morning. I couldn’t even sit her up, she was so weak, and I had… Continue reading Transition, part 1 / October 10, 2006
Today reminded me of why taking care of someone with Alzheimer’s Disease becomes unbearable. In short: there is no smooth trajectory downward–you wake up each morning with little expectation of what the day will bring. Things get horrible, then they suddenly improve for awhile. Then they get worse for a day, then you coast along… Continue reading Catherine Wheel / October 6, 2006
I’ve begun several posts over the past week, and then found myself petering out very quickly. Each day begins on the wrong note as my mother becomes more and more anxious at being alone. She can no longer evaluate the situation and tell herself that Eva will be arriving at some point–her anxiety feeds on… Continue reading Holding / October 3, 2006
The nurse from the assisted living facility visited us last Tuesday to evaluate my mother’s suitability for this type of living. I fretted deeply about this, despite trying to calm myself down by re-examining all my escape hatches (”This doesn’t mean she’ll have to move TOMORROW”, etc.). I eventually realized that my primary worry was… Continue reading Assisted living, part 3 / September 26, 2006
Next Tuesday a nurse from the assisted living home will evaluate my mother here at the house. I spoke to her on the phone today to set the time. She then asked me what my mother knows about the arrangements. Nothing. We have brought it up as a possibility with her, but I have still… Continue reading Assisted living, part 2 / September 13, 2006
I’d like to repeat a comment that was left for me by Patty Doherty, one of the creators of The Unforgettable Fund. Answering just ONE of her questions requires one to be bravely empathetic. And until the most powerful members of our society can acknowledge and deeply empathize with the least powerful members (note Patty’s challenge,… Continue reading Good stewards, part 1 / September 11, 2006
I called my mother from work at the usual time this morning, and she was having the speech difficulties she often has when she’s upset by something. But she managed to say to me, “I have company today.” Using my best powers of interpretation, I guessed that she meant Eva, the homemaker. “No,” she said.… Continue reading Deja vu / September 6, 2006
Several times this past week I’ve heard myself telling someone that my mother would probably be moving into assisted living fairly soon. Each time the words startled me–as if I were hearing someone else saying them. I don’t know when the “if” became “when”–or even if it truly has become “when”–but a part of me… Continue reading Ifs and whens / September 2, 2006
I didn’t make a conscious decision to take a hiatus from posting, and really didn’t notice that I’d withdrawn until Gail mentioned it to me in an email. But it’s true–I’ve felt so weighed down by everything that I haven’t had the spirit to write. Today was an awful day. It didn’t start out that way–I left… Continue reading Going home / August 29, 2006
Today was one of those flat summer days–flannel-colored sky and spongy air. I usually wake up on Sunday morning with a list of chores that should have been done on Saturday, and today was no different. Yesterday was a washout because my “post-traumatic” migraine (entirely expected) kept me out of the sunshine and in my… Continue reading Quotidian / August 20, 2006
