I lost count of the number of times today that my mother asked me why “he” hadn’t come home. I think she may have split me into two people: the person she can see and the other person she talked to on the phone. She’s seemed a little “off” for the past couple of days–a… Continue reading Something’s got to give / July 11, 2006
I went to Catholic school as a kid, and I was one of those neurotic kids who hated to leave the house. I must have made life difficult for my parents because I was always feeling sick in the morning. When my mother would make my lunch she’d write a little poem on a piece… Continue reading Full circle / July 9, 2006
“He made such a nice dinner tonight,” my mother said, once we’d finished and were relaxing in the living room. In the past I would have corrected her: “No, Ma, I made the dinner.” But now it isn’t important. The gender confusion is actually a clue to me that she’s contented. The presence of “him”–usually… Continue reading Mom’s mental map / June 28, 2006
Just a short post to, first, link to an excellent essay called How to Be Where You Are by my friend Gail, at Mom and Me Too, about mindfulness and how the daily acts of caregiving can enlarge what seems sometimes to be the very isolated life of the caregiver and her Ancient One. In her essay Gail… Continue reading More than this / June 25, 2006
Today was the wedding day. Last night I hemmed the pants to my mother’s new pantsuit, and then I set her hair with the new sponge rollers I’d bought. At some point she began to confuse today’s event with a graduation, and wanted to know whether all the students would be there to get their… Continue reading The wedding / June 24, 2006
So this has nothing at all to do with dementia. A fairly big-budget movie is being filmed here in Providence, and I’ve run into it on several occasions over the past couple of months. It’s a live-action version of the old cartoon called “Underdog,” which I missed altogether as a kid, my cartoon days having… Continue reading Tinsel Town and my morning commute / June 22, 2006
Today my sister and I visited an assisted living residence, the first of at least four that we’ll visit. I’m learning as I go along. I did quite a bit of research beforehand but there’s nothing like the experience of walking into a place and imagining your parent living there. I actually felt sick about… Continue reading Assisted living, part 1 / June 20, 2006
I’ve been having a discussion with my friend Gail about spiritual life and whether or not it affects or is affected by dementia. I’m now reading David Shenk’s The Forgetting and in his discussion of the middle stages of AD he describes how the disease progresses systematically through the different parts of the brain. The hippocampus is affected first, eroding the… Continue reading The word / June 12, 2006
Several entries ago I was patting myself on the back over my handling of my mother’s refusal to let the homemaker into the house one day. Lesson number two: be prepared to reinvent the wheel every day, or, laurels are only decorative–they aren’t meant to be rested on. My mother refused to let the homemaker… Continue reading One step forward, two steps back / June 9, 2006
Except for the biological theme park that we know as menopause, I’ve been having a pretty good week. Until today. One of the pleasures and rewards of writing this blog is that it has brought me into contact with some super people that I would probably never have met otherwise. I’m feeling connected, supported and… Continue reading The homemaker always rings twice / May 31, 2006
