I returned to work today, after two whole days of being unable to control my tears. Although I dreaded the day I’d have to say good-bye to my beautiful boy, I was still unprepared for the torrent of grief that followed. I am extremely fortunate to work with many animal lovers–people who actually cried with… Continue reading Being sad alone / August 17, 2006
I had read about memory loss, confusion and dysphasia, but I was not prepared for the behavioral changes that often come with Alzheimer’s. I don’t know if they are actually the second most stressful part of living with my mother–-after finances–-but they are the most likely triggers of my anger. Today, for example, I had… Continue reading Stress, part 2 / August 9, 2006
My mother had a miserable summer in 2004. She complained constantly and was angry with us all the time, it seemed. Her most persistent complaint was about her legs–she’d broken her hip three years earlier but had recovered extremely well from the replacement surgery. We’d followed up with the orthopedic doctor every six months since… Continue reading In the beginning, part 2 / August 6, 2006
Today was the wedding day. Last night I hemmed the pants to my mother’s new pantsuit, and then I set her hair with the new sponge rollers I’d bought. At some point she began to confuse today’s event with a graduation, and wanted to know whether all the students would be there to get their… Continue reading The wedding / June 24, 2006
I took the past two days off, so I’ve been with my mother for four days straight, all day. There’s a lot I don’t see of her daily mindset because I leave for work at 7:15 and don’t get home until about 4. By that time of day she’s usually as sharp as she can… Continue reading A day in the life / June 13, 2006
Except for the biological theme park that we know as menopause, I’ve been having a pretty good week. Until today. One of the pleasures and rewards of writing this blog is that it has brought me into contact with some super people that I would probably never have met otherwise. I’m feeling connected, supported and… Continue reading The homemaker always rings twice / May 31, 2006
I was reading about my Biblical namesake Deborah, a judge and prophetess in Israel during a time when it was under the control of the Canaanites. She was one of those protean Old Testament women who exploit the antithesis between her social status and her gender. But her role as a judge is what interests… Continue reading Best judgment / May 16, 2006
One of my recurring dreams features a couple of pet birds I once owned. Often I dream that I’ve forgotten to feed them for weeks, and I find them barely hanging on to life. Last night I dreamt that one had died in its cage, and I didn’t even notice until well after the fact.… Continue reading Intangible #1 / April 13, 2009
